he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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