dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just tell him i said nine months
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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