you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
