yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
