dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
