apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
