I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
