Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
