woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize