I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
