Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just had sex bonerless
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
