so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
