so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize