He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
