Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
