There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I can't turn off my feet"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
