Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
