My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
