dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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