Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
