Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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