I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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