How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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