and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I FOUND THE LEGS
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
