Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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