I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
