wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
