he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
