I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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