Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Someone shattered a urinal.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
