ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
