I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
