I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
