Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
