this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize