is your mom at the bar?
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
