scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think your dad took our porno
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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