Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
