The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
