i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize