Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize