You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize