I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
