All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
