My brain says no but my pants say off.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
