Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
