No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
