people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
