Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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