can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
