Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I didn't notice because vodka
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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