nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize