i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
