I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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