He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
