you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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