y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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