I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
